Archive for May, 2010

 

Heroic Responsibility is for Suckers

Oh, geez. What the hell. People are going to expect me to go fight the Lich King or something.

I hate zombies. They smell!

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Well, apparently Ma Thunders is very proud.

The Real Guide to Orgrimmar

Okay, enough messing around. Let’s do this up Orc-style.

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Orgrimmar: Some Burning Emissions

Coming up in the journal we have a proper pictorial overview of Orgrimmar, but first I wanted to devote a little space to some terribly amusing people who don’t get a lot of credit in print: the Burning Blade. These guys are hilarious, although I suppose to be fair, I should say that they’re not trying to be.

They’re just adorable, though. They think they’re a secret cult that’s infiltrated the city, when in fact the other orcs are happy to have them around because it means there’s always someone whose face you can pummel on a boring Dursday night when nothing is doing.

Check out their secret hideout! It’s totally unsuspicious, right, and clearly invisible to all but the initiated.

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Orgrimmar: I’ll be Light Green ‘Til I Die

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last night the drums took my spirit up into a whirlwind and i heard a voice coming from beyond the world

“I think you are another of these desert-loving English…No Arab loves the desert. We love water and green trees, there is nothing in the desert. No man needs nothing. Or is it that you think we are something you can play with because we are a little people?” –Lawrence of Arabia

I take a sip of my beer. They keep the kegs down in the Cleft of Shadow where they stay cool; it’s so hot and the sun beats so hard up on the battlements of Orgrimmar that you can’t get through watch-duty without cool drink, and as long as its watered the warchief lets the watch have their beer.

At least I’m wearing a hat. Kavok Len, Breach-pierce clan (I do not know this family) stares out at the horizon and I don’t know how that sun hasn’t made him blind by now. At the least he must have a monster headache. I’m sitting up here with him and the rest of his men on a dog’s afternoon in Orgrimmar. Southern wall; afternoon watch. This is the time to stay out of the sun for those who are off-duty, so there isn’t much for a tourist to do. And what can I say, I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I have a streak of masochistic curiosity!

So people, even in the Horde, say the orcs are rapacious; they take what they want when they see it. But they don’t come from a place like Durotar. I’ve never been to Nagrand but from what I can tell, Nagrand is like Mulgore but with less gravity.

And yet when the orcs found Mulgore, they gave it away.