Does anyone speak dwarf?

Okay, some odd things have happened to me since I started publishing this journal.

You may remember that I’ve held forth on my Problem with Dwarves. I may have even advocated murdering them for sport in various ways. I have nothing in principle against any of my fellow Azerothians, and frankly would rather hang out with my racially-diverse brethren in the Cenarion Circle than, say, people who are theoretically my allies but who want to exterminate all life. Yeah, okay, guys. How about we just have a beer, instead, huh? Oh, the beer’s coming right out the… let’s just… oh, geez, it’s really just running right through… ugh, and some tumours are washing off with it… look here’s a bucket, we’ll just slip it under the tabard… there — no one will notice. Just… stand still.

Nevertheless, dwarves. I wouldn’t think any of them would read my journal, let alone enjoy it. But apparently copies are circulating in Alliance towns, and I seem to have picked up a — a stalker? I guess?

I can’t complain. She buys really expensive shoulder and helmet inscriptions and mails them to me (apparently this is okay). But every so often I get weirder shit, like the following, which I have reproduced here in case any of you, dear readers, can make heads or tails of it.

I think it means she just helped kill the Lich King. I heard something about that. Beyond that, though…

wishyouwerehere

wishback

And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I wish she would stop stabbing me to death whenever she sees me. The rose left on my corpse really is… something, but I could do without it.

Next: Quaint Customs of the Practice Humans »

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 8th, 2010 at 1:07 pm and is filed under Travels. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Responses to “Does anyone speak dwarf?”

  1. Orduin Says:

    Well, my long membership in the Argent Dawn/Crusade, as well as the International Brew Appreciation Circuit, has given me enough understanding of Dwarf that I can translate most of it.

    She said she thought of you while she was up there, and with Bolvar, who is apparently badly, badly burned and now encased in ice. Then she says she hopes you got the shoulder inscriptions, and if you don’t have them on your gear when she nexts finds you in Wintergrasp and cuts you up.

    I’m not sure about the stabbing and flowers. This is why I follow the example of our Warchief and only encourage human stalkers.

  2. Anea Says:

    Ahahahaha, “Lich” you were here! Hee…. what, that Dwarven humor just gets me every time!

    I suppose you could look on the bright side and at least she’s admiring, rather than… well, stabbing you dead? Northrend IS a mighty long ways away, not to mention the Frozen Throne. Perhaps now that she’s utilizing the mail system, she’ll give you a head’s up when she’s headed back, so you can prepare(hide?) appropriately?

  3. Machar Says:

    Regrettably, laws on stalking a different species are murky at best. Did the dwarf skin your corpse? If so, you probably have grounds for a sexual assault charge.

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